Post reblogged from transformative with 108,541 notes
omfg i was sitting in a room with a bunch of my aunts, uncles and cousins and my grandma had this weird smile on her face so I asked her what was up and she just looked at me and said “everyone in this house is alive thanks to my vagina”
Source: oldprickbitches
Post reblogged from Where The Freaks All Come Around with 159,719 notes
friend ?????!?
fr iend!! !!!
im coming friend
im here i love u
Source: mystia
Photo reblogged from Hey Funniest Post! with 91,130 notes
Just searching for a place I’ll fit in.
Source: nonelikerae
Photo reblogged from with 207,457 notes
A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.
About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”
He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:
Hey Mom
I’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Your Son.
A couple days later he got a response from his mother:
Dear Son,
I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.
When are the two of you coming for dinner?
Love,
Mom
BEST MOM
this made me so incredibly happy
Source: bijou1986
Post reblogged from Advocating Sarcasm since 1994 with 87,191 notes
OH MY GOD
SO I LIVE NEXT TO A VERY STRICT, VERY BIG, CHRISTIAN FAMILY AND ALL OUR WINDOWS ARE OPEN AND I JUST SCREAMED “JESUS FUCK” REALLY LOUD AND I HEARD 3 MORTIFIED GASPS FROM OUTSIDE IM CRYING
Source: whythefuckareyouromeo
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